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The art and science of stuffing up your life

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We have here a time (much like any other time) where some things we think and choose to do quite obviously don’t work! This book is a commentary on what must be pursued with determination in order to achieve perfection in messing things up. You may suspect at times that I am approaching some serious issues with less than serious thought!! In this book you do the thinking! But keep in mind that when it comes to stuffing up your life it has been achieved effectively in all Ages.

Try these
• Give lots of advice
That’s what friends are for; to give advice. Even if you don’t know what you are talking about still give it a go. Some people say good friends are good listeners but the problem there is that, if all you do is listen, you don’t feel like you’ve done anything, whereas if you give good advice you feel much better. Don’t worry if they don’t seem to be feeling much different when you’ve finished, they’re not likely to take any notice of you anyway. People like to do their own thing.

• Get your mum to do your banking for you.
This has three benefits to you. One: she is the one who has to get to the bank which saves you time. Two: she will know when your bills are due and if you have enough to pay for them and she will remind you. Three: she will have to pay the bills herself because that makes sense seeing she has all the cards and stuff. Anyway it gives her something to do and makes her feel involved in your life.

• Believe that life owes you
Why should you put anything into a life that really should be out to help you? If life gives you nothing and you add nothing to it, then you are even!

• Fight about sex
Fighting about sex can be a bit tricky. Things tend to go really wrong. You say things you really shouldn’t say like “if you just lost some weight…” or “if you weren’t so frigid….” or “you’re just a selfish pig!” The difficulty here is that people should just know that you didn’t mean it. You were just angry. But your partner really seems to get things stuck in their mind and it’s there forever!

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